


Communities development

by whatdopeoplewantfromme



Category: Arrested Development, Community (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatdopeoplewantfromme/pseuds/whatdopeoplewantfromme
Summary: The Bluths buy greendale, but the students won't let greendale die without a fight.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	1. intro to responsible spending and education

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be in screenplay format but the software I use doesn't take well to copy and paste.

> FADE IN:

EXT. GREENDALE- AFTERNOON

Jeff is trying to avoid the large crowd gathered around the front steps when Annie runs up to him.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Jeff Winger was trying to ignore the obvious fraction in his school.

ANNIE  
Aren't you gonna help?

JEFF  
Help what? Destroy greendale?

ANNIE  
These people are who's gonna destroy greendale. Britta says they've committed treason.

JEFF  
Britta isn't write about anything, why would she begin now.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Britta was right about the treason.

ANNIE  
Do you really have no commitment to your school?

Troy walks in pushing Pierce.

TROY  
I'm happy Jeff isn't coming, gives me more time with the girls rioting.

JEFF  
And Pierce isn't gonna step on your game?

PIERCE  
I'm a very, sexual man. I'll help his game a lot if anything.

Troy and Pierce leave.

JEFF  
Anyway I like greendale but I'm not gonna kill for it.

ANNIE  
We're not killing anyone.

Suddenly a rock hits a window, and all hell breaks loose, GOB is shown hitting the ground, Garett punches Michael in the face, and Buster is belted with tomatoes.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
They didn't kill, but they sure did get close.

> CUE THEME SONG

INT. STUDY ROOM F- MORNING

The group is studying.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
The morning before the riot, everything seemed to be going normally.

JEFF  
So that was the first page of chapter one, so we're done.

ANNIE  
Duncan's really getting lazy on these assignments.

BRITTA  
At least it's less studying for us.

SHIRLEY  
I need to go back to my boys after this so I really appreciate the extra time.

TROY  
Just as long as nothing comes along to stop from going home early.

ABED  
Thats what people on tv always say just before someone stops them from going home early.

The whole group waits for a moment.

JEFF  
Well thats not happening so we're free to go.

Jeff gets up to leave as DEAN comes in, crying, covered in blood and holding a gun.

JEFF  
(scared)  
Dean?

DEAN  
(somber)  
Jeffery.

The Dean hugs a very confused Jeff.

ANNIE  
Dean, did you kill somebody?

DEAN  
(offended)  
Kill someone? I'd never, I'm just being the murderers go greendale.

BRITTA  
The murderers of greendale?

JEFF  
I always thought greendale would just kill itself.

DEAN  
Very funny Jeffery, but greendale has been bought, and I don't know if we'll survive this.

JEFF  
We won't.

ANNIE  
Who bought us?

DEAN  
The Bluth company.

ANNIE  
Sounds familiar.

BRITTA  
The Bluth company? I've been protesting them for years!

EXT. BEACH- AFTERNOON

Britta is joining a group of protesters to fight the Bluths. A chyron reads "anti-blush company protest, 2001".

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
Indeed Britta had been protesting the Bluths,

BRITTA  
DOWN WITH THE BLUTHS!

Two guys approach her with cameras for g*irls with low self-esteem.*

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
while making some money on the side.

Britta angrily takes off the shirt.

GUY  
I think we'll cut her.

INT. STUDY ROOM F- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 2

ANNIE  
We need to teach them a lesson.

ABED  
Like in demolition man.

ANNIE  
Yes. Jeff what do you say?

JEFF  
I say you're all being dramatic, we don't need greendale.

ABED  
Are you aware of all the easy A classes you have, and how you wouldn't get them outside of greendale.

Jeff seems visibly shaken up by this.

TROY  
And you wouldn't have us without greendale.

PIERCE  
Gay.

Jeff seems shaken by that, but gets back to thinking about his degree.

JEFF  
You know what? I will not stand for this injustice! We will protest the Bluths, and we will teach em a lesson!

NARRATOR  
Hey, that sounds familiar.

INT. LUCILLES APARTMENT- DAY

MICHAEL rushes in, furious at his mom.

NARRATOR  
Michael Bluth also trying to figure out why the Bluth company brought a school and went to his mom for answers.

MICHAEL  
Ok mother, this is the last straw.

LUCILLE  
What is?

MICHAEL  
You brought an entire school!

LUCILLE  
No

NARRATOR  
She did buy the school.

LUCILLE(CONT'D)  
but you should come down there sometime

NARRATOR  
He should not come down there 'sometime'

LUCILLE(CONT'D)  
It's a lovely school.

NARRATOR(CONT'D)  
It is not.

MICHAEL  
Mom I don't have time for this and you know we don't have the money for this!

LUCILLE  
Relax, it was only 5,000 dollars. It'll make us look more likable, isn't that what you always wanted.

MICHAEL  
5,000 bucks, what idiots would sell a school for that much.

PHOTO OF THE SCHOOL BOARD GUYS

NARRATOR  
These idiots.

BACK TO LUCILLE AND MICHAEL

LUCILLE  
I don't know but you have to admit it's a good look for us.

MICHAEL  
Since when did you care about our look? The only look you ever cared about was making the Sitwells look bad.

LUCILLE  
Alright don't lie who told you.

MICHAEL  
Told me what?

LUCILLE  
The Sitwells also bid for this place.

MICHAEL  
And is that why you bought it? I can't believe you! We don't have the money, how many times have I needed to tell you this?

LUCILLE  
It is a great school though. Take George Michael and what's-her-name to it.

MICHAEL  
Maeby?

LUCILLE  
'Maybe her name is' what?

MICHAEL  
Her name is Maeby.

LUCILLE  
Oh, what a dumb name for a child.

BUSTER  
Mother, we're out of juice boxes.

LUCILLE  
Buster! What did I tell you about juice boxes in the afternoon!

BUSTER  
I'm allowed one, mother!

LUCILLE  
You can take Buster to.

BUSTER  
What did you just say, Mother?

LUCILLE  
Listen Buster, just imagine be there with you, and it'll be like I never left.

BUSTER  
(shudders then gains a smile)  
You're right, I can imagine you now!

LUCILLE  
Thats my boy. Go have fun at collage.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF LUCILLES APARTMENT- MOMENTS LATER

As Michael walks out he sees GOB, listening to the conversation through a wall.

MICHAEL  
What is it this time.

GOB  
I hear mom wants you to go to collage, not me.

MICHAEL  
Thats just because she needs you to run the bisiness.

GOB  
She, needs me?  
MICHAEL  
Yes, she does.

GOB  
(after an over the top celebration)  
But I still want to come to collage, too over see your mission. The business mission.

MICHAEL  
You know what? Fine.

INT. GREENDALE CAFTIRA DAY

Annie, Abed, and Jeff are getting signatures for a petition.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And as Michael got ready to leave, the welcome party began planning.

ANNIE  
Would you consider signing a signature too save greendale.

TODD  
Sure!

ANNIE  
Great, that's fifty signatures. And combined with the anti Bluth protest that Britta's in charge of it should be enough to get them away.

JEFF  
Do you really think a signature will do any good.

ANNIE  
Uhh yes.

JEFF  
Oh I forgot, you're young. You need some legal action. And most of the people signing the signature are only doing it because you're  
(pauses)  
You're

ABED  
Hot?

JEFF  
(shaken)  
Yes  
(pauses for a beat)  
can't believe you got it, Abed.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And Britta's years of protests finally came in handy.

TROY  
So no knives, guns, bombs, anything else?

BRITTA  
Yes, we are not killing anymore, or inciting any violence, 

EXT. GREENDALE- SAME TIME AS SCENE 1 

Chang throws a few rocks, one of witch hits the stair cars window.

INT. GREENDALE- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 7

BRITTA(CONT'D)  
just egging and our words

PIERCE  
Why do we only use all the lame stuff.

SHIRLEY  
As a christian, I like how we don't hurt people. Violence is a sin.

BRITTA  
You should have told that to the church in 1478.

SHIRLEY  
(filled with rage)  
What did you just say?

INT. THE MODEL HOMES ATTIC- LATER

NARRATOR  
Before Michael could go, there was one last person to say goodbye to.

MICHAEL  
Dad, Lucille wants me to visit her collage,

GEORGE SR  
She has a collage?

MICHAEL  
Yep, bought a collage. So I won't be here for a while, can you just sneak down stairs to get food.

GEORGE SR  
No Michael I can't do that, you can't make me do that?

MICHAEL  
Please just handle this for me.

GEORGE SR  
Who else is coming.

MICHAEL  
George Michael, Maeby, GOB, and Buster.

GEORGE SR  
So your brother can't get me things.  
(to himself)  
Your brother.

MICHAEL  
What are you plotting?

GEORGE SR  
Nothing, nothing at all.

Michael walks off as George Sr thinks.

GEORGE SR  
(to himself)  
Brother.

George turns his attention to an Oscar wig.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
George finally had a way to get out of the attic, use one of Tobias' family wigs

INT. TOBIAS AND LISDAY'S ROOM- NIGHT

Tobias is trying on a wig of Linsdays hair.

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
Tobias had one of each member of the family to prepare for if he ever needed to play them.

Tobias is in a Lucille wig.

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
This included an Oscar wig that George would take to collage.

INT. STAIR CAR- THE NEXT DAY

Michael is driving the stair car with GOB in the passenger seat and George Michael, Maeby, and Buster in the backseats.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And so, with half his family in tow,

INT. GEORGE'S CAR- SAME TIME

George is driving right behind Michael.

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
and another trailing behind them Michael went to Greendale.

EXT. GREENDALE FRONT STEPS- MOMENTS LATER

Michael gets out of the car only to get egged.

NARRATOR (V.O.)(CONT'D)  
And got a warm welcome.

> END ACT ONE: FADE OUT

EXT. GREENDALE FRONT STEPS- SAME TIME

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Perhaps it was the tension brought on by the buyout, perhaps it was previous knowledge of the Bluth companies misdeeds, perhaps it was this,

MICHAEL  
Hello, younger people and a surprising amount of old people.

LEONARD  
We can still kick your ass!

CROWD  
(cheers)

BRITTA  
We may not have action but we have words!

MICHAEL  
I know you're angry but rest assured we don't want anything to do with you.

Michael begins to be belted with eggs and tomatoes.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Yeah, it was probably that.

INT. STAIR CAR- CONTINUOUS

GOB, Buster, George Michael, and Maeby, are all stuck in the stair car as Michael gets egged.

GOB  
Don't worry I know how to get us out of here.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Is it with mag-

GOB  
With magic!

GEORGE MICHAEL  
This doesn't really sound like a good id-

Suddenly a smoke bomb goes off in the car and everyone heads for an exist, coughing and wheezing.

EXT. GREENDALE FRONT STEPS- CONTINUOUS

GOB stumbles out of the car and runs to the back of the crowd, but falls over after a tomato is thrown in his face.

GOB  
My illusion! It's ruined.  
(to himself)  
I wonder what went wrong.

Suddenly TONY WONDER appears from the crowd

TONY  
Did somebody say...*wonder?*

GOB  
(with great anger)  
Tony...

The crowd goes wild! In the back ground we see Buster try to leave the car only for an egg to hit his left hand.

BUSTER  
My hand! My hand! This is the worst thing that'll ever happen to it! 

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Wrong.

BUSTER(CONT'D)  
Mother, where are you?!?

DEAN  
Okay, maybe let's calm this down before we do something we may regret.

BRITTA  
They're trying to destroy greendale! 

ABED  
Yeah, we're fighting the power, like in caddyshack.

DEAN  
Well maybe calm it down.

Suddenly Chang runs in with rocks in his hand and begins to throw them everywhere.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Even George Sr got a bit of the action.

George Sr is shown in a bush, hiding from the action in his Oscar costume. A rock hits him square in the head.

INT. STAIR CAR- SAME TIME

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Some action going on out there.

MAEBY  
Just wish I could be apart of it.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
To help our parents?

MAEBY  
Just wish I could be apart of it.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
To help our parents?

MAEBY  
Ha! Good one, of course I wanna be one of the rock throwers.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(quietly)  
I wasn't joking.

MAEBY  
What?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Nothing.

MAEBY  
Wait I got an idea, get out of the car.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Are you kidding me? They'll kill us.

MAEBY  
No the other side.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Oh ok.

The pair get out of the stair car on the side facing away from the riot.

EXT. GREENDALE- CONTINUOUS

GEORGE MICHAEL  
What do we do now?

MAEBY  
We loop around. Go to the side with the rioters and show our parents who's boss.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Your parents aren't even here.

MAEBY  
Oh yeah, we can get our uncles.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I don't wanna get our uncles.

MAEBY  
C'mon, have a little fun, George Michael.

NARRATOR  
George Michael thought about thus proposition, he'd fight his father, witch he'd never wanna do, but he'd get to spend more time with Maeby. Something he desperately wanted after being dumped by Ann.

INT. MODEL HOME LIVING ROOM- MORNING

George Micheal and Maeby are talking.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I love her, she's beautiful,

MAEBY  
Her?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Yeah, her, why does everybody always say that?

MAEBY  
Really, her?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I just don't care for a lot of the religious stuff she's into

Ann walks in.

ANN  
George Michael?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Oh hi Ann, we were just talking about you!

ANN  
I'm leaving.

EXT. GREENDALE- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 19

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I'll come with you!

He sees that Maeby is already gone and tries to run to get her.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Dammit.

George Michael begins to run after Maeby.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And in the attempt to find his cousin, George Michael found a new group of friends.

EXT. GREENDALE FRONT STEPS

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Excuse me, have you seen my cousin, she has curly hair.

MAGNITUDE  
Pop pop!

GEORGE MICHAEL  
What? Where? He's dead how would I know about him.

MAGNITUDE  
Who?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
No one, don't worry about it. I'm George Michael.

MAGNITUDE  
Magnitude.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Okay, but like what's your real name.

MAGNITUDE  
I go by magnitude.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
magnitude, I get it, like a funny term of endearment, like like egg or as my classmates called me, [bleep]boy.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
[bleep]boy was not a funny term of endearment, and while Egg wasn't endearment, it was comedy gold.

MAGNITUDE  
(clearly weirded out)  
I'll just call you George Michael, and I haven't seen your cousin.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Her name is Maeby, tell me if you see her.

MAGNITUDE  
We could go on the pop pop for her together, between you and me its a little weird being much younger than everyone else.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Ok, what does pop pop mean by the way.

MAGNITUDE  
Pop **pop!**

GEORGE MICHAEL  
But what does that mean though?

INT. GREENDALE NURSERY- LATER

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Hours after the riot, everyone at greendale had some explaining to do.

JEFF  
So you won't sue?

MICHAEL  
Yeah, my family is already involved in a few lawsuits too many.

ANNIE  
Thats great!

MICHAEL  
I'm just so shocked that something like this would happen.

GOB  
You know only thing more shocking than a fight, is a super natural occurrence, something magical.

MICHAEL  
Please don't try to do a magic trick.

TROY  
Ohhh magic!  
(readjusting his seriousness)  
oh, magic.

MICHAEL  
He's a terrible magician. 

BUSTER  
I think it's pretty good.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
It wasn't.

ABED  
Have you ever killed someone in a trick?

JEFF  
I think we're losing track of how serious this situation is.

GOB  
Illusions, not tricks. And no, I have never killed anyone in a trick, thats an amateur move.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
GOB has in fact killed in an illusion before. After tripping over and slicing a pair of legs in half.

PHOTO OF A NEWSPAPER CLIPPING SAYING "MAGICAL DISASTER: MAGICIANS ASSISTANT KILLED IN A TRICK" AND IN A SMALLER FONT "IT'S NOT A TRICK, ITS AN ILLUSION, CLAMS MAGICIAN"

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
But even though she was clinically dead, she was able to come back to life.

PHOTO OF A NEWSPAPER CLIPPING SAYING "MIRACLES HAPPEN: MAGICIANS ASSISTANT BACK TO LIFE"

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
But she died of further health complications a few days later.

PHOTO OF NEWSPAPER CLIPPING SAYING "MIRACLES DON'T HAPPEN: MAGICIANS ASSISTANT WHO DIED DAYS EARLIER IS DEAD"

> CUT BACK TO SCENE 23

GEORGE SR  
Michael can I talk to you for a moment.

MICHAEL  
Fine, fine.

EXT. GREENDALE NURSERY- CONTINUOUS

GEORGE SR  
I'm not Oscar, Michael.

MICHAEL  
Wait, dad? Why would you do this? Someones going to catch you.

GEORGE SR  
Nobody will, absolutely nobody.

MICHAEL  
No, somebody will you have to go back to the home.

GEORGE SR  
I can't go back there, Lindsay and Tobias are there they'll find me.

MICHAEL  
Lindsay and Tobias couldn't even spot their own daughter how would they spot you.  
INT. GREENDALE NURSERY- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 23

ANNIE  
Jeff, can we talk for a moment?

JEFF  
What is it?

ANNIE  
The dean asked for some help with paper work

JEFF  
Just give to an office worker, its their job.

ANNIE  
He asked us to do it, not some office worker.

JEFF  
Don't you think we have more important things to do than paper work?

ANNIE  
It's saving our school. Do you have no commitment to greendale?

JEFF  
No, I don't. And if I did, I won't go throwing rocks everywhere including Todds forehead.

THE CAMREA MOVES TO REVEAL TODD IN THE BACK OF THE NURSERY

TODD  
(crying while pointing a bandage on his forehead)  
Offense. Taken.

ANNIE  
Chang did *mean* to hit Todd.

CHANG  
Wait, I didn't?  
(pauses)  
I mean, wait, I didn't.

JEFF  
But that doesn't make any of what you do acceptable! 

GOB  
Get a room already! 

JEFF  
What?

GOB  
We all have more important things to do than listen to your relationship problems.

EXT. GREENDALE NURSERY- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 25

GEORGE SR  
MY WIFE IS FUCKING ME!

MICHAEL  
You mean Oscar?

GEORGE SR  
Yes, exactly!

MICHAEL  
Listen dad, I know you're upset about all of this, but you gotta go. You're putting our whole family in risk.

GEORGE SR  
Fine, I'll go, I'll go. I see I'm not welcome here.

INT. GREENDALE NURSERY-CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 26

ABED  
There is some teasing between them but the age gap is too big, it'd alienate viewers.

GOB  
Viewers? Are there cameras around?

JEFF  
No, his thing is talking about life like it's a tv show, and sometimes it gets old. Especially because there's nothing happening between me and Annie!

BUSTER  
Life as a tv show? Someones been taking too much juice.

Michael walks in.

MICHAEL  
Ok, if everything worked out I'll take George Michael and, where is George Michael?

INT. HALLWAYS- SAME TIME

George Michael was hanging out with his new best friend Magnitude.

MAGNITUDE  
Hey Quendra,  
QUENDRA  
Magnitude.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
So are you like part of the math club?

MAGNITUDE  
What?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Oh its just my schools math club has tons of inside jokes, is pop pop one of them for you. Okay I'll shut up now.

INT. GREENDALE NURSERY- SAME TIME

NARRATOR  
And just one things couldn't get any worse, the rest of the Bluths come.

Lucille runs in, furious.

LUCILLE  
What the hell is wrong with all of you! Who hurt my baby Buster!

BUSTER  
Mother?

LUCILLE  
Never leave me again, NONE OF YOU GET NEAR MY BABY!

BRITTA  
Isn't he in his thirties?

LUCILLE  
Were you the one who hurt him?

Tobias comes in next.

TOBIAS  
Can somebody tell me what the the-a-ter department at this school is like.

DEAN  
The theater is great, why do you ask?

TOBIAS  
I'm Tobias Funke, actor and director.

DEAN  
Might need to get you in our department.

TOBIAS  
Why don't you come to help me.

DEAN  
I'd be up for that.

Dean and Tobias begin to leave, but Tobias stays for Linsday.

TOBIAS  
(to dean)  
Can you give me just a minute, my wife is here.

Lindsay enters, eyeing Jeff.

LINDSAY  
Well, hello.

JEFF  
Not interested.

LINDSAY  
Why did you just assume that?

JEFF  
Well you can't say you didn't look at me funny.

LINDSAY  
Well, hopefully your shoot me one back eventually.

JEFF  
(sarcastically)  
Sure.

LINDSAY  
(to herself)  
Have I lost it?

TOBIAS  
(awkwardly tying not to cry)  
I know our relationship is open, but could you please refrain from, you know what? It's fine. I'll be acting with the Dean.

INT. GREENDALE SHOWERS- LATER

Tobias is crying in the showers in just his cutoffs, we pan out to see a fully dressed Dean looking at him in confusion.

DEAN  
Is this acting? Also where can I get those cutoffs?

INT. GREENDALE NURSERY-CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 30

MICHAEL  
This is all great, but I'm going to go, with my son, and we're going to come back later to work everything out. Nobody hold any riots until then, okay? Wait where's George Michael?

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- SAME TIME

Magnitude, George Michael, their crew, are picking up girls.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
George Michael was out with his new friend, Magnitude, and was on the prowl.

MAGNITUDE  
Pop **POP!**

The girl Magnitude is flirting with is incredibly charmed. 

CUT TO:

George Michael is shown filtering with the same girl.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
So do you like history? The Mughal Empire used to shoot people out of cannons so they wouldn't get blood anywhere.

The girl is, very surprisingly, unimpressed.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(heartbroken)  
Alright I'll go now,  
(quieter)  
and never come back.

MAGNITUDE  
What was that?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I don't know, I just didn't know what to say. And I guess I really like the Mughal Empire.

MAGNITUDE  
Its not how you pop popped,

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Pop popped?

MAGNITUDE  
It's how you reacted, man. You can't let them get to you.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Fine, okay like how Bābur  
(pauses)  
We're learning about them in school.

MAGNITUDE  
There's gonna be a party at Quendricks.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
With a Qu?

MAGNITUDE  
Yes, Quendras sister.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Quendra?

MAGNITUDE  
I don't really get it either.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Well, its a very nice proposition but I don't think that party life is for me.

MAGNITUDE  
(disapointed)  
Well than, pop pop.

MAEBY(O.S.)  
Isn't he dead?!

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Oh, Maeby, where have you been?

MAEBY  
I got swept up in a small little scam, got a job, and then,  
(shudders)

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS-HOURS EARLIER

Maeby is walking around greendale when she sees Michael on the phone with Lindsay 

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Maeby, was alone in Greendale after the riot, when she saw her uncle Michael on the phone.

MICHAEL  
(to the phone)  
Yeah, I wouldn't want George Michael going here, or god forbid working here, just as you wouldn't want Maeby. 

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And thought of a whole new way to rebel.

INT. GREENDALE OFFICES- LATER

Maeby walks over to the front desk.

MAEBY  
Hey I'm a new office worker, where's my desk.

RONDA  
Aren't you a little young?

MAEBY  
Marry me!

CUT TO:

Maeby is still working the desk just minutes later when Annie comes in.

ANNIE  
Hey these are some papers regarding the ramifications of the riots today. 

MAEBY  
(frightened)  
I'll get them done right away.

ANNIE  
Also aren't you a little young for an office job.

MAEBY  
Aren't *you* a little young?

ANNIE  
Well I'm just a student, although this school isn't really that academically challenging, I could have gotten into like Harvard if I wanted but I had as small little pill addiction and 

MAEBY  
Marry me!

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And soon she had the job go any other office worker.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- CONTINUOUS WITH 31

MAEBY  
It was hell. Just wish I could go to a party, with a cool boy.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I go to parties, I'm going to one with Magnitude tonight.

MAEBY  
(laughing)  
Maybe you can take me.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Sure,  
(to himself)  
I'm finally gonna enjoy collage.

> FADE OUT.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
On the next Communities Development,

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS-CONTINUOUS

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Michael finally finds George Michael.

MICHAEL  
We're leaving, buddy.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
What?

INT. GREENDALE COSTUMING DEPARTMENT

The Dean holds up a 'sexy' Uncle Sam costume.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Tobias and Dean get the costumes for their musical.

DEAN  
What about this one? Would someone play me in this?

TOBIAS  
I'd sure do you in that!

EXT. GREENDALE NURSERY- LATER

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And Jeff learns unsettling information about Greendale's future.

JEFF  
So what are you gonna do now that you own the school?

LUCILLE  
Well you harmed my Buster

JEFF  
I wasn't involved with

LUCILLE(CONT'D)  
So probably burn the school to the ground!  
(laughter)

Jeff looks longingly to the distance, Greendale may actually be gone in a weeks time, and he's regretting everything.

> FADE OUT.


	2. Intro to disappearing acts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Britta try to save the Dean from Tobias. Michael struggles to get George Michael to leave Greendale. GOB, Abed, and Troy launch an investigation into Tony Wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one came out a lot longer then I thought it would.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- DAY

Jeff is walking around, trying to find GOB when he runs into Britta.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Jeff Winger Had just learnt vital information about the future of his school and was looking for someone to share it with.

JEFF  
Do you know where the magic professor is?

BRITTA  
Magic professor?

JEFF  
Troy and Abed take his class.

BRITTA  
I don't know who-

GOB(O.S.)  
Did somebody say

Gob gets out of a locker he was stuffed in.

GOB(CONT'D)  
Magic?

JEFF  
So you're the guy who teaches tricks?

GOB  
Illusions, not tricks. I teach Illusions.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
After Lucille had bought greendale, GOB used his position as company president to get the job of magic professor. He had also used his class to make it very clear that he runs the Bluth Company.

INT. MAGIC CLASSROOM- DAY

GOB  
So then I, the PRESIDENT of the Bluth Company, take my $5000 dollar suit, and make it DISAPPEAR.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS-CONTINUOUS

JEFF  
Great, so you run the Bluth company.

GOB  
Yeah, I'm the president, what about it? You're not a lawyer are you?

JEFF  
No.

BRITTA  
Why are you scared of lawyers?

GOB  
Nothing.

JEFF  
You're not shutting the school down, are you?

GOB  
How would I know?

JEFF  
You're the president.

GOB  
Oh, oh I see where you're confused. I'm the president, but my Michael is the vice president, he does most of the work.

BRITTA  
And you?

GOB  
I have the office! It's a pretty sweet deal.

JEFF  
Of course.

GOB  
Listen I'm not the one being invested for treason!

BRITTA  
Invested?

GOB  
People think he did some treason.

JEFF  
(to Britta)  
You *were* right about that.

BRITTA  
You thought I was lying?

JEFF  
So where's Michael?

GOB  
I don't know, I haven't seen him since he stormed off yesterday. He's probably in the teachers lounge or something.  
INT. STAIR CAR- SAME TIME

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Michael was driving his son, George Michael, home after feeling fed up with the rest of his family.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Did we need to leave?

MICHAEL  
Well they can take care of the school for a little while, we can have some father son time?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Well what about what you always say, family first?

MICHAEL  
We'll let them come to us this time.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
But what if we wanted to stay?

MICHAEL  
What is this? Did you meet a girl? Is this like a rebound after  
(pauses)

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Do you mean Ann?

MICHAEL  
Yes! Her.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
No, no, I   
(tearing up)  
*I* broke up with Ann, not the other way around.

INT. MODEL HOME- DAY

ANN  
It's over.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(holds back tears)

Maeby snacks on popcorn in the background, before actually getting concerned for George Michael after a few seconds of him holding back tears.

MAEBY  
George Michael

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(holds back tears for another second)  
(begins brawling tears.)

INT. STAIR CAR-CONTINUOUS

GEORGE MICHAEL  
And it was just a hypothetical.

MICHAEL  
Well it's gonna be smooth sailing from now until the family comes back.

The car hits a bump in the road.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
I think we got a flat tire.

> CUE THEME SONG

INT. MAGIC CLASSROOM- DAY

GOB is standing in an empty classroom. It looks like a slightly smaller version of the anthropology room layout wise, with unsteady floorboards and posters of famous magicians (most with GOBs face awkwardly photoshopped onto). GOB is staring at the one untouched photo, the photo of his rival: Tony Wonder. He sits down at his desk and takes a drink of scotch, which is of course not legal at community collages.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
GOB had been paranoid about his rival Tony Wonder coming to greendale ever since he sabotaged his smoke bomb trick the day before.

TROY  
Professor Bluth?

GOB  
Thats professor GOB to you.

TROY  
Why are you sitting in an empty room?

GOB tries to adjust his position to hide his empty desk.

GOB  
Grading papers, get out of my way kid.  
ABED  
There aren't any papers on your desk.

GOB  
Maybe I made them  
(extends his hands like he's going to have a fireball set off)  
Disappear.

ABED  
Was something going to happen?

Troy gets close to GOBs hands while inspecting the trick when smoke bombs go off in the palms of GOBs hands.

GOB  
That was the ol' bait in switch, a staple of magic.

TROY  
(coughing)  
I think I swallowed a dove.

GOB  
So now you boys know a new trick, you got what you need, now scram.

ABED  
(pointing to the photo of Tony)  
Who's that?

GOB  
Tony  
(pauses)  
Ponder. My rival.

ABED  
Is ponder his actual last name?

GOB  
Why would you think otherwise? Do you know him?

ABED  
No,

NARRATOR  
Abed had met Tony that morning.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS-MORNING

TROY  
I wonder when

Tony bursts out of a locker and stumbles onto the floor.

TONY  
Did somebody say  
(pause)  
Wonder?   
(pauses again)  
Those lockers are damp and small.

INT. MAGIC CLASSROOM

GOB  
He's my rival, of sorts.

TROY  
I think I'm choking.

GOB  
(whispering)  
He's come to this school to take me down, I know it.

ABED  
Espionage, nice. I'm in. We should probably take Troy to the nurse first though.

TROY  
Yes! please!  
(faints)

INT. STUDY ROOM- DAY

JEFF  
This is gonna sound weird but has anyone seen the Dean.

ANNIE  
He's been spending all his time at the theater department recently.

JEFF  
Of course.  
(to Britta)  
Let's go.

ANNIE  
Really? Gone already? It feels like you've been avoiding us recently.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
In truth, Jeff had been avoiding Annie. After learning from Lucille that she planned to eliminate greendale, Jeff didn't trust himself to not tell Annie and didn't trust Annie not to throw another riot. And most of all Jeff didn't trust himself to do something reckless with Annie.

BRITTA  
I also need to go, there's a protest because the Bluth company is BUILDING HOUSES IN IRAQ! And nobody cares about treason aparently.

JEFF  
Great. You can come with me and Annie can protest for you.

BRITTA  
What?

JEFF  
(whispering)  
Don't let her know.

SHIRLEY  
An-nie, I had help protest with you.

ANNIE  
Yeah, we'll protest.

Annie and Jeff lock eyes, both glaring sat each other, Annie knows Jeff is hiding something. Jeff and Britta finally leave the room.

SHIRLEY  
So do you want to make the signs An-nie?

ANNIE  
(excitedly)  
Yeah, maybe something like "Bluths made me blue" I don't know.

Annie and Shirley leave to make the signs, leaving a Pierce who just got up from his nap alone.

PIERCE  
Hello? Anyone?

George Bluth, still pretending to be Oscar, enters.

GEORGE SR  
So, you're family doesn't need you anymore.

PIERCE  
Who are you?

GEORGE SR  
I'm clearly not wanted here also.

PIERCE  
George.

GEORGE SR  
Oscar.

PIERCE  
Bullshit. You're George Bluth I'm Pierce Hawthorn.

PHOTO OF PIERCE AND GEORGE MAKING A BUSINESS DEAL IN A TROPICAL PLACE WITH CARTOON SMILES ON THEIR FACES

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Pierce and George were business associates in the early 80s

THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO SHOW ALMOST COMPLETELY CENSORED WOMEN SURROUNDING THE PAIR

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And were also great friends.

INT. STUDY ROOM

GEORGE SR  
You're not gonna tell anyone, right?

PIERCE  
I'd never!

GEORGE SR  
Great! Love to be seeing you again!  
(to himself)  
I needa get rid of him.

INT. GREENDALE OFFICES- DAY

George Michael comes to visit Maeby.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Still working the desk, huh?

MAEBY  
Weren't you going off with your dad?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Well you know I had something I needed to pick up back here.

MAEBY  
What was it?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
A pen  
(picks up pen)  
This pen.

He awkwardly holds up a pen with the words glmors pens on it.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
So now that I have it I can just go now. Bye.

MAEBY  
Really thought you'd stay for more than five minutes this time.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Oh yeah, yeah I'm staying for the party, worked it out with Magnitude.

GOB, Troy, and Abed enter.

GOB  
Heyyy George Michael! And   
(pauses)  
you, you look familiar.

MAEBY  
So do you.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
What she meant to say was,

MAEBY(CONT'D)  
And go f\\*\\*k yourself

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Well, that.

GOB  
Wow, she's really angry this one.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Thats your niece.

GOB  
Maeby, wow. You look really different.

GEORGE MICHAEL AND MAEBY  
It's just a wig.

TROY  
So, you're family huh?   
(shaking Maebys hand)  
I'm Troy

MAEBY  
Yeah, don't worry I didn't inherit anything from him or my dad.  
TROY  
Well I'd hope so, when it comes to your uncle at least.  
NARRATOR(V.O.)  
This was when Maeby came up with a new way to rebel, getting her first boyfriend.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
She's fifteen.

MAEBY  
What a weird joke, George Michael.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
But

MAEBY  
(whispering to George Michael)  
Don't. Ruin. This.  
(to Troy)  
So there's a party tonight, wanna come?

TROY  
Nah, I got other people to come with.

MAEBY  
(to herself)  
Oh, well there was nothing to ruin there.

INT. THEATER- DAY

Dean and Tobias are practicing a school version of fiddler on the roof, Tobias is Tevye and Dean is Golde. Jeff and Britta angrily walk in.

DEAN  
(sung)  
And now I'm asking, Golde,  
Do you love me?

TOBIAS  
Do I love him?  
(sung)  
For twenty five years I lived with him,

JEFF  
What is this?

TOBIAS  
Greendale's ticket to theater stardom!

DEAN  
Thats right, our own school play: Fiddler on the *Dean.*

TOBIAS  
I thought my name was also going to be in there.

DEAN  
Fine. *Tobias* on the *Dean!*

TOBIAS  
Now that's better!

JEFF  
Well it certainly paints a picture.

BRITTA  
So it's an all male fiddler on the roof.

TOBIAS  
No, just us in a committed relationship with Theater. All we need is each other.

BRITTA  
A gay fiddler on the roof, sounds like something I'd make.

JEFF  
Yeah, you guys Britta'd it.  
(to himself)  
Britta'd it, I should make that a term.

BRITTA  
Don't make it a term.

JEFF  
Fine, I won't.

Jeff begins texting Abed "remind me to make Britta'd a thing". Abed replies almost immediately "oh so this is setting the gag up so it can be paid off in a latter episode?"

JEFF  
(to himself)  
He really Abed'd that.

BRITTA  
What?

JEFF  
Oh yeah, back to this. Dean, you have to get back to the rest of greendale.

DEAN  
Really? Never seemed to want me back before.

JEFF  
What?

DEAN  
I'm happy here, we get to theater actors, and manage a great team.

Garett runs in with his usual panic.

GARETT  
Sir, your costume for the tomorrow number is ready.

Annie walks in from the opposite end of the theater to Garett.

DEAN  
We're not just doing Fiddler.

TOBIAS  
We're also doing Annie!

Annie walks out, a little creeped out.

JEFF  
Greendale will burn without you.

TOBIAS  
Greendale will also burn without a great theater department. And what's wrong with a little flamers.

BRITTA  
Are those intentional? Or can you just not go five seconds without an innuendo.

TOBIAS  
What innuendos?

DEAN  
You didn't notice them?

TOBIAS  
I don't know what you're talking about.

The clips of Tobias saying "I'd do you in that" from last chapter, "what's wrong with a little flamer" and "I'M GAY" play.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Well you haven't seen the last one yet, but it's coming.

TOBIAS(CONT'D)  
(getting sadder)  
Seriously, what are you, what are you talking about?

Jeff, Britta, and Dean exchange looks to each other.

INT. GREENDALE OFFICES- DAY

Maybe shows Troy some files.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
GOB was continuing his inquiry into Tony Wonder by getting other people to continue the investigations.

MAEBY  
Nothing on Tony Wonder, except for a video of a class he taught.

INT. MAGIC CLASSROOM- DAY

HANDHELD 'FOUND' FOOTAGE

Tony Wonder tires to make a fireball but it explodes in his face, the students run out in panic. The camera is pointing towards the floor for most of the video.

GARETT  
He's ON FIRE.

MAN  
Evacuate the women and children first!

INT. GREENDALE OFFICES- DAY

TROY  
Thanks, Maeby.

MAEBY  
No problem, it's more than my dad or uncle would ever give.

TROY  
Dad? Who's your dad?

INT. MODEL HOME- DAY

Tobias is talking to Michael, covered completely in blue paint.

TOBIAS  
I'm afraid I just blue myself.

INT. GREENDALE OFFICES- DAY

MAEBY  
I don't know why I said that. I don't have a dad.

TROY  
Well I know a few people you could talk to about that.

MAEBY  
Really? I can talk to you anytime.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Maeby thought Troy meant she could talk to him, he meant talk to this man.

INT. STUDY ROOM F

JEFF  
I don't have problems with my dad. Why would you think that?

INT. STUDY ROOM F-DAYS LATER

JEFF  
I'm fine.

INT. STUDY ROOM F-A FEW MORE DAYS LATER

JEFF  
My dad he's terrible but I don't feel bad about it me dad issues never.

INT. GREENDALE OFFICES- DAY

MAEBY  
Maybe we could talk more about dads over lunch, what do ya say.

TROY  
Sorry, got plans with Abed.

Troy and Maeby both walk off, Troy towards GOB and Abed, Maeby towards George Michael.

EXT. GREENDALE OFFICES-CONTINUOUS

MAEBY  
What the hell?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Did he reject you again?

MAEBY  
Yeah, what's the matter with him, is he g-

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Maybe calling everyone who doesn't like you gay is a bad move, kind of makes you sound homophobic.

MAEBY  
Maybe I'm not good enough for him.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
It was at this moment George Michael wanted to reveal his feelings for Maeby, and tell her how she's the most beautiful women he's ever laid eyes on. But they're cousins, so he kept his mouth shut; a good move.

MAEBY  
I'll give it one more shot at Quendricks party.

George Michael cracks a gigantic smile, he's gotten a horrible idea.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
But George Michael also came up with a plan to win over Maeby during the party; a terrible move.

INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA- MOMENTS EARLIER

Troy walks over to Abed and GOB with the bad news.

TROY  
Nothing but a video.

ABED  
Do you have the video?

TROY  
Yeah,

ABED  
We have the next step, look for clues in the video.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Reminder that this

INT. MAGIC CLASSROOM- DAY

The students scramble to leave the room but the camera is pointed towards the ground for almost the entire time.

INT. GREENDALE CAFETERIA- DAY

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Is the video.

TROY  
Cool, your dorm?

ABED  
sure.

The two begin to walk off before noticing GOB hasn't gotten up yet.

ABED  
You coming?

GOB  
Yes, just give me a minute to...

GOB becomes completely covered in smoke.

GOB(CONT'D)  
Disappear.

TROY  
Woah, how'd you do that?

GOB  
A magician never reveals his tricks. But seriously I'll get to the dorm later just give me a minute now.

A second cloud of smoke appears.

ABED  
(yelling)  
How will you know where our dorm is?

TROY  
Dude, he's gone.

ABED  
(pointing to a table GOBs awkwardly hiding under)  
I think he's over there.

GOB  
Well I'm not!

GOB continues to hide as Abed and Troy walk away.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
It was finally time for GOB talk to his rival head on

GOB  
Now, Wonder where are you?

TONY  
Did somebody say  
(pauses as he emerges from under a different table)  
wonder?

GOB  
Tony.

TROY  
Gob. I see your launching a little investigation into me.

GOB  
How did you know that I was coming.

TONY  
There are many factors at play here. Stuff I'm not allowed to discuss.

GOB  
You could make me your assistant! Magician assistant confidentiality could help us.

TONY  
Look Gob, you're a great guy, but not assistant worthy. Ok?

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
3Gob was crushed, told by his rival that he wasn't even good enough to be an assistant,

Annie and Shirley run up to him, Annie pepper spraying him, and Shirley lunching silly string at him.

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
he was also hurt by Annie and Shirleys pepper spray.

GOB  
Why the hell did you do that.

ANNIE  
We're protesting with pepper spray.

SHIRLEY  
And silly string.

GOB  
(pauses in profound confusion)  
Ok, well I'm kinda in the middle off a magicians duel thing,

ANNIE  
Oh ok. We got a party to go to anyway.

SHIRLEY  
We'll get out of your hair, good day.

GOB  
Good day. 

Annie and Shirley respectfully leave to give GOB time for his magicians duel thing.

GOB  
Wonder!

TONY  
(walking up to GOB)  
Did somebody say, Wonder?

GOB  
You. Me. The party. 6:00PM.

TONY  
Magician duel?

GOB  
Magician duel.

TONY  
I'll meet you there.

EXT. GREENDALE BASKETBALL FIELD- DAY

We see a montage of George Michael walking around the basket ball field. Almost throwing the ball before backing up, watching others play, and crying on a bench, occasionally all at the same time.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
George Michael was trying to make himself look for manly for the party at Quendricks by playing some basket ball. Of course practicing sports required a lot of convincing himself.

We see George Michael try to make a basket, but the ball bounces off the net and hits him square in the face.

EXT. GREENDALE BASKETBALL FIELD-MOMENTS LATER

Michael approaches George Michael, who's sitting on a bench.

MICHAEL  
Hey, buddy.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(sad)  
Hi dad,

MICHAEL  
Whats wrong, you sound sad.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
It's just this dumb sports thing, and I need it to got to this party-

MICHAEL  
You know what I think is a part of this? The family. Did you get your pen?

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And it was at this time that George Michael finally came clean about his impossible crush.  
GEORGE MICHAEL  
Actually dad, the pen wasn't the reason I came back-

MICHAEL  
I know, you love the family.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(to himself)  
More than you'll ever know.

MICHAEL  
What?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Nothing. But there is something I really need to talk to you about.

MICHAEL  
Listen, I'm here for all your problems. It's gonna be smooth sailing from here on out. Wait, can we pick this up later I'm getting a call from gangie. Once I'm off its gonna be smooth sailing for us though.  
(pauses while listening to Lucille through the phone)  
Oh no. I gotta go. Bye George Michael we'll pick this up later.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Alright. Alright.

George Michael watches as his father leaves him, but before the scene ends we see some silly string and pepper spray getting sprayed on Michael by Annie and Shirley.

INT. LUCILLES PENTHOUSE- DAY

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Michael had just gotten an urgent call from his mother, who was claiming to be threatened.

MICHAEL  
Mom? What happened?

LUCILLE  
I think Lindsay wants to run the company.

MICHAEL  
Really?

LUCILLE  
Get this, she tired to threaten me.

MICHAEL  
She's way to lazy to run with company, let alone do a takeover.

LUCILLE  
She already has people to do it for her. She has a new *poor *activist* *friend. She's also a fat blonde.

MICHAEL  
If you don't want your children to rebel maybe stop calling them fat.

LUCILLE  
You need to help me Michael. There are people trying to take over this company, end our family. Aren't those the two things you care about?

MICHAEL  
Fine, fine I'll see what I can do about her, I'll investigate it at least.

BUSTER  
Mother's overblowing things.

LUCILLE   
See? Our family is being torn apart. Busters turning against me! It's those collage kids.

BUSTER  
I'm free, Michael. Don't listen to her.

MICHAEL  
Wasn't planning on it.

Michael heads to leave before turning to Lucille one last time.

MICHAEL  
Also, what is this? Like the whole penthouse is here.

LUCILLE  
I had this replica made first thing after I bought the school. It's impossible to tell the difference between this and the real thing.

The floors make an extremely noticeable creak.

MICHAEL  
Great. We're tearing it down.

Michael slams the door shut as he leaves.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- LATER

Annie and Shirley are holding protest signs against the Bluth family when Lindsay walks through, dressed lavishly.

ANNIE  
BOOO!

SHIRLEY  
Get out of our school you spoiled-

LINDSAY  
No, No, I'm a protester like you. I got a great protest outfit on. Isn't it cute?  
(she trues to show off how good she looks in the outfit)  
Hey, where's that Brittles girl?

SHIRLEY  
Bri-tah?

LINDSAY  
Yeah her.

ANNIE  
How do you know her  
(to herself)  
Please don't tell me they protested together.

LINDSAY  
We protested togteher.

ANNIE  
I should have seen that coming.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
She really should have.

LINDSAY  
Please, I'm a great protester. Watch me fight my mom.

BUSTER  
So mother isn't coming.

LINDSAY  
Buster?

BUSTER  
Lindsay? Maybe she was right about you trying to do a takeover. The one she talked about when I was in bed with her. And when Michael was here.

LINDSAY  
Takeover?

ANNIE  
Takeover?

BUSTER  
Takeover?

LINDSAY  
Well thats something to think about.

Lindsay leaves while going over the thought of a takeover in her head.

SHIRLEY  
She seems loyal.

BUSTER  
Mother will crush her.

ANNIE  
Whats your relationship with your mom exactly?

BUSTER  
What do you mean? My relation ship with Mother is just like any other Mother boy relationship.

ANNIE  
You said you sleep with her, you're like in your thirties.

SHIRLEY  
I think that may be a sin.

BUSTER  
Only occasionally, when I have nightmares and such. Mother has been a tad more controlling than usual though.

ANNIE  
Really?

BUSTER  
Yeah, she sent me here to teach me a lesson after I tired to teach her a lesson by drinking too much juice. 

SHIRLEY  
Juice? Is that some new slang for alcohol.

Annie looks at Busters pocket then leans over to Shirley.

ANNIE  
(whispering)  
It's not.

We see that Buster had a box of apple juice in his pocket.

BUSTER  
Of course that was only me trying to teach her a lesson about teaching me lessons after she sent me to this school.

ANNIE  
What was that a lesson for?

BUSTER  
Who can remember?

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
I can,

EXT. GEORGE SR' FUNERAL- DAY

The family is gathered outside at a rocky patch of empty land for George Sr' funeral. Buster is in a military themed stripper costume and is running away from a coffin that GOB fall out of.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Buster and GOB had recently preformed an illusion at George Sr's funeral, but Buster had abandoned it after learning of George Sr's death. Lucille was teaching Buster a lesson about interrupting family events.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 30

ANNIE  
You may wanna see a therapist.

BUSTER  
I don't know if mother would like that.

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- DAY

George is pushing Pierce down the hall in his wheelchair.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Whats going on with Pierce and George?

GEORGE SR  
(almost crying)  
Please stop. I'm begging you.

PIERCE  
(prefaced by evil laughter)  
Never.

INT. THEATER- DAY

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And just as the Annie and Shirley struggled to get people out of greendale, Jeff and Britta struggled to get Dean back in.

JEFF  
It's like he's doing this just out of spite.

BRITTA  
To be fair there's a lot of reasons to be spiteful towards us.

JEFF  
Well he's got a kill greendale with his spite.

BRITTA  
I don't think it's spite.

JEFF  
What?

BRITTA  
He loves you, he loves Greendale. Theres no way this is what he wants.

JEFF  
Than who else would  
(pauses)

BRITTA  
He's to oblivious,

JEFF  
What if it's an act.

BRITTA  
Well the family dumb enough to buy greendale.

JEFF  
The family, not him.

The pair looks at each other considering weather or not they're on the right path.

INT. DEANS OFFICE- LATER

Jeff and Britta storm in.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Thinking that Tobias is trying to pull Dean away from greendale as a part of a grand plot, Jeff and Britta came to confront him.

JEFF  
Dean you have to-

The pair noticed Tobias with a bald cap and tie in Deans chair. 

JEFF  
Tobias?

TOBIAS  
Dean! To prepare for one if my roles in our play, I have taken on one of the great acting challenges, and become the Dean.

BRITTA  
I thought that play was just a version of fiddler.

TOBIAS  
Yes, thats what it began as, but it's grown so much. And yes it'g going to be hard, but we can come down and pull it off.

JEFF  
Please tell me at least one thing you say is on purpose.

The dean emerges, in a bald cap with side burns drawn on it and a fake mustache.

DEAN  
Nope, everything I say is completely unintentional because I am Tobias Funke!

JEFF  
How is that costume worse?

DEAN  
What costume?

JEFF  
Dean,

TOBIAS  
Right here.

JEFF  
Tobias,

TOBIAS  
R-no wait

DEAN  
Yes?

JEFF  
You have to stop hanging out with the Dean.

TOBIAS  
(gasps)  
Why?

JEFF  
I know what you're doing.

BRITTA  
I don't know if he's doing anything,

JEFF  
What do you mean? You helped me realize that Tobias is helping lure the Dean away from greendale.

DEAN AND TOBIAS  
But I run greendale.

JEFF  
Tobias, shut the hell up,

DEAN  
Jeffery!

JEFF  
Dean, you're not Tobias.

TOBIAS  
I'm not?

JEFF  
Jesus Christ! For once I try to do something for this school and you make it impossible. I am the on ly person with common sense in this whole toilet, this whole toilet school that I don't know why I still like, or go to, or want to safe.

TOBIAS  
Great acting there, really. Sparks are *flying! *Dean has my essence down and in him and vise versa. I have the dean inside me!

Dean sits in regret of how far he pushed Jeff.

EXT. GREENDALE PARKING LOT- LATER

Michael walks out, trying to find George Michael but instead finds Lindsay.

MICHAEL  
Lindsay, thank god I've found you mom was so worried.

LINDSAY  
Is this about the takeover?

MICHAEL  
So you do know something about that. I thought it was just mom being insane.

LINDSAY  
It's just mom trying to pit us against each other, that's why we should take her down.

MICHAEL  
Yeah, wait take her down?

LINDSAY  
Exact our revenge, Michael. Against her, against the company,

MICHAEL  
I think you're forgetting, I run the company.

LINDSAY  
Well you may not for long.

MICHAEL  
Jesus, his this actually about a takeover?

LINDSAY  
Takeover? Who said anything about that.

MICHAEL  
You have never worked a day in your life what makes you think you can do a takeover.

LINDSAY  
Many, many things, Michael.

MICHAEL  
I already have to much on my plate, you can't do this to me.  
LINDSAY  
I won't.

Lindsay gives Michael a knowing look than walks off.

GOB  
So is that takeover actually happening?

MICHAEL  
Why wouldn't it? The world seems to just want to throw as much as me as possible.

GOB  
Well, what's important as that we stick together, family first ya'know.

MICHAEL  
You're making a scary amount of sense GOB.

GOB  
Of course I am brother, hermando.   
(almost happy crying)  
Do you remember Marta, Michael?

MICHAEL  
What a saga that was.

GOB  
Truly. Taste my nostalgia Michael, tase it.

GOB tries to push Michael agist his face so Michael tastes his tears, Michael awkwardly pushes him away.

MICHAEL  
Don't wanna taste your tears, GOB. I've told you this a million times.

GOB  
Yeah, good times. Can you get me some money?

MICHAEL  
What?

GOB  
Money, I want it.

MICHAEL  
Is that why you said all of that? Why do I ever trust anyone from this family? I'm leaving, again.

Michael walks off.

GOB  
(yelling)  
It's for company stuff!

INT. STUDY ROOM F-LATER

Jeff is sitting at the study table, alone, when the Dean and Tobias. (still dressed as each other) come in.

DEAN  
Jeffery?

JEFF  
Dean? What are you doing here?

DEAN  
Did you really mean what you said about Greendale, and loving it.

JEFF  
I, I don't know. It's gonna be gone soon, you know that right?

DEAN  
Who would destroy greendale?

JEFF  
One of the new owners, she said she'd burn it down.

DEAN  
Oh, I'll see what I can do with it. You may need to get someone above me for them.

JEFF  
This school has been so much of my live, for two goddamn years, two wasted years.

TOBIAS  
Sparks. Are. Flying. Great job guys.

JEFF  
Since when was he here?

TOBIAS  
Jeffery, I've always been here, staring at you. Watching you.

JEFF  
Thats not even an innuendo, thats just creepy.

Suddenly Annie and Shirley run in to paper spray the Dean, thinking he's Tobias.

DEAN  
AHHH Jesus Christ!   
(extremely giddy and pleased with himself)  
Wait did you actually think I was Tobias?

ANNIE  
Wait, what?

SHIRLEY  
I think we made a mistake Annie?

TOBIAS  
No, no I'm the dean. Why would you pepper spray me on such a dean-tastic day!

Annie pepper sprays Tobias, despite his protests.

SHIRLEY  
Sorry for that.

ANNIE  
Wrong guy.

The pair leaves.

TOBIAS  
(crying)  
OHHH GOD OH SHIT SOMEBDOY HELP ME IM GONNA DIE WHYT JIUNRUND SOMEONE DO THIS AHHHH  
(More incomprehensible screams of pain)  
I was having such a good day, I was happy, giddy, gay. I'M GAY.

JEFF  
How do you not see that one?

BRITTA  
Also what was up with Annie and Shirley?

JEFF  
Protesting.

BRITTA  
How was that protesting?

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- DAY

George is pushing Pierce down the hallways.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Hey! Let's check back up on Pierce and George.

GEORGE SR  
Is there anything else you want?

PIERCE  
(with much malice)  
Get me...a pizza.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Still nothing there.

INT. LUCILLES PENTHOUSE- LATER

Lindsay enters the apartment, ready to show her moms who's boss.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Lindsay went to Lucilles to announce her takeover.

LINDSAY  
Hello mother-

LUCILLE  
Have you gotten fatter?

The enthusiasm on Lindsays face almost completely disappears. 

LINDSAY  
Ok, fine. I guess there's nothing you wanna do with me. I just wanted to take you to a party. Tonight.

LUCILLE  
Really? Is this a trap?

LINDSAY  
There's gonna be wine. And Vodka. Literally every type of alcohol.

LUCILLE  
(slightly interested)  
I'll think about it.

INT. QUENDRICKS BATHROOM-NIGHT

GOB is on the phone to Tony Wonder while walking back and forth in the incredibly small bathroom.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
As the party every one was going to came, GOB was starting to get anxious.

GOB  
Yeah just tell me when you're coming.   
(pauses)  
That'd be great. That'd be great.  
(pauses)  
Oh yeah I'll also tell you, actually I'm already here.  
(pauses)  
What do you mean you're here I can't see you anywhere.

GOB looks out the small hole in the door to try to find Wonder, he doesn't. He gets back to focusing on the phone

GOB  
Ok, see you in a minute.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Tony Wonder, wasn't coming. He thought the party referring to a local magic club.

INT. QUENDRICKS KITCHEN- NIGHT

Jeff is in the kitchen with Duncan, he clearly doesn't want to be in the party.

DUNCAN  
Annie's 2,

JEFF  
Can we please not talk about this now,

DUNCAN  
But she's 2.

JEFF  
Kind of been liking her more recently.

DUNCAN  
Really?

JEFF  
Don't get any ideas.

DUNCAN  
Too late, I already have.

JEFF  
Great, so how are you taking the news that greendale is over.

DUNCAN  
What?

JEFF  
The new family who owns it, the mom said she's shutting down the school.

DUNCAN  
Welly you gotta stop this Jeff. This is my job, my income.

JEFF  
I've been trying, these things aren't easy. The deans not helping me out and GOB said I needed to find some Michael,

Jeff spots Michael from the opposite side of the room.

JEFF(CONT'D)  
Well that was a freebie.

The lights are flashing. The music loud. The party goers dancing. And Buster is also having the time of his life. He's technically dancing but it looks like a seizure.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Buster was tasked by Lucille to stake out the party Lindsay inviting her to, but because of words from a therapist,

INT. GREENDALE HALLWAYS- DAY

Britta runs into Buster.

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
Or rather psych major who told him to

BRITTA  
Just do something completely undefended of your mom. No connection to her.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
So instead of the party he was asked to go to, he went to the party everyone else was going to; not knowing that it was the same party.

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM-CONTINUOUS WITH 39

The parties still raging. George Michael walks up to Buster.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Uncle Buster?

BUSTER  
(screams)  
(calms down)  
Oh, George Michael. You interrupted my flow.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
What are you doing here?

BUSTER  
Having the time of my life! Nothing can stop me here! It feels so good to be away from mother. You should try it.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Do you mean I should get away from gangie? Because me and gangie don't really hang out that much anyway.

Buster is too busy partying to pay attention to George Michael. George Michael spots Magnitude and runs to him.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Magnitude! How are you.

MAGNITUDE  
Pop POP!

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Is that good? Bad?

MAGNITUDE  
Pop POP!

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Good? It's good.

MAEBY  
Hey George Michael. Who's this?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Magnitude.

MAGNITUDE  
Pop POP!

MAEBY  
Where?

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Right here.

INT. QUENDRICKS KITCHEN-SAME TIME

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Being blackmailed into getting a beer.

George Sr gets a beer for Pierce and a beer for himself, and sheds a singular tear while drinking.

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM-SAME TIME

MAEBY  
I thought he was dead!

MAGNITUDE  
What?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
He's kind of a party boy. We're on the prowl for some "hot action."

MAEBY  
(to Magnitude)  
Do you know how to pick up guys?

MAGNITUDE  
Pop POP!

MAEBY  
(to herself)  
Interesting.

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

Gob is walking around disoriented when he stumbles into Jeff.

GOB  
Hey have you seen this guy, Tony? 

JEFF  
Thats a pretty common name.

GOB  
W on his chin.

JEFF  
Doesn't ring a bell. Now if you excuse me-

GOB  
Wait, I could use an assistant.

JEFF  
I'm not gonna be your dumb-

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
And it was at that time Jeff noticed Annie and Shirley have come to the party to protest, and were currently talking to the dean.

JEFF  
Fine I'm in.

GOB  
Great, meet me in the bathroom.

JEFF  
What?

GOB  
So I can tell you our plan, in private.

JEFF  
(disgusted)  
I'm not gay, and not doing any sex act.

GOB  
What? No. I can just tell it out here if you want.

JEFF  
Yes, please.

GOB  
(whispering)

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

George Michale and magnitude are scheming.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
You got the mask?

Magnitude hands a mask of a generic white man to George Michael.

MAGNITUDE  
Yeah, I'm not sure if this is such a pop popping idea but you seem to be all for it.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Trust me, this will definitely work. She won't know it's me, her cousin, and then we can finally kiss.

MAGNITUDE  
And why do you want to make your cousin kiss you.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
(pauses)  
To...teach her a lesson.

MAGNITUDE  
How would that teach her a lesson?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Freak her out. It'd be funny look I'm laughing.  
(fake laughter)

As George Michael walks too Maybe he is approached by Michael.

MICHAEL  
Hey buddy I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Doing stuff. And things. Things and stuff.

George Michael turns his attention to Maeby and Troy in the background.

MAEBY  
(muffled)  
Pop POP!

George Michaels attention turns back to his father, even though he is still distracted.

MICHAEL  
Well, buddy I think its time to continue that talk we had earlier.

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Yeah I don't think this is a good time.

MICHAEL  
Why not?

GEORGE MICHAEL  
Well you know, its a big party and,

MICHAEL  
Sure, we can have it in private,  
GEORGE MICHAEL  
Later, in private.

MICHAEL  
(hurt)  
Ok, see you after the party.

After Michael Leaves George Michael sees it, Maeby and Troy kissing. George Michael is horrified.

INT. CORNER OF QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM-SAME TIME

Jeff is waiting in the corner when GOB comes in with Buster.

GOB  
Jeff, this is my brother, Buster.

BUSTER  
Heyy-

GOB  
Please just be quiet for once! I need a beer for the trick, give me a second.

BUSTER  
Hey friend of brother.

JEFF  
You know what this is wrong, I gotta go.

BUSTER  
(on the verge of tears)  
Wait I'm wrong?

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM- CONTINUOUS

Jeff begins to go to Annie before spotting Michael.

JEFF  
Hey, I need your help with something.

MICHAEL  
What?

JEFF  
Your mom said she would burn down the school.

MICHAEL  
Why does she always need to make everything around me so much more difficult. She's just joking. I'll check in with her anyway.

JEFF  
Thanks, this place is basically my family.

MICHAEL  
And family comes first. When you got family it's just smooth sailing.

JEFF  
(slightly bittersweet)  
Yeah family first. Say where's your family?

Michael turns to GOB, who is about to begin the duel.

GOB  
And now, for my best magic trick, one better than any assistant could do.

The final countdown begins to play as GOB and Buster dance wildly.

GOB(CONT'D)  
I *wonder* how many people are here to see this!

After a second of dancing GOB stops in shock.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
It was the first time in two years GOB had said wonder without Tony appearing.

GOB  
(in horror)  
I *wonder*. *Wonder*?

GOB just stands in shock holding back tears.

GOB(CONT'D)  
He didn't even show up. I truly am a assistant.

A smoke bomb goes off in the middle of the stage. GOB stays still.

BUSTER  
Brother are you ok?

Lucille and Lindsay enter the party.

BUSTER  
(panicked screams followed by curling up into a ball)

LUCILLE  
Buster?

Annie sprays Lucille with pepper spray, but Lucille shoots back. Lucille gives Annie a ruthless slap causing Jeff to run over. We pan out to see Tobias' (who's still in full Dean getup) reaction to all of this.

TOBIAS  
What would the Dean do? What would Craig Pelton do?  
(he has a realization)  
He'd save his students!

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Actually he'd hide behind a trash can, as evidenced by the Dean hiding behind the trash can right next to Tobias.

Tobias runs into the fray and immediately gets bitch slapped by Buster who ran into the fight to try to help Lucille.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Perhaps it was seeing how high Tobias thought of him, or maybe it was this,

Buster tackles Jeff to the ground.

NARRATOR(V.O.)(CONT'D)  
But the Dean did step up to stop the fight.

The Dean runs into the fight only to get punched square in the face by Lucille.

LUCILLE  
Wait, you're not Tobias.

INT. QUENDRICKS KITCHEN-SAME TIME

George and Pierce and watching the chaos unfold.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
It was then that George finally had an idea of how to put Pierce in his place.

GEORGE SR  
You should meet my wife.

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM-SAME TIME

Jeff pulls Annie out of the chaos as Shirley slams Lindsay against a wall then knocks Lucille off her feet.

JEFF  
You ok?

ANNIE  
Yeah, how about you.

JEFF  
I'm fine. And I need to come clean about something. I've been avoiding you because, because,

Jeff looks into Annies eyes. It's a moment of intimacy that the two haven't felt in a while.

JEFF  
Because I was afraid I'd do this.

Jeff and Annie briefly kiss before Jeff pulls away.

JEFF  
I just made a huge mistake.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Next time on communities development,

EXT. QUENDRICKS DORM- MOMENTS LATER

Jeff stumbles out of Quendricks apartment, where he a battered sees Lindsay looking at him seductively.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Jeff tries to forget his huge mistake, with an even bigger mistake.

The two walk into a random dorm.

INT. THE PARTY (MAGIC CLUB)- DAY

Tony is dancing on stage when a smoke bomb goes off, after a second nobody comes out.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Gob misses Tony Wonder's magic show.

TONY  
He's a no show.

INT. DUNCANS OFFICE- DAY

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
Buster sees an actual therapist.

DUNCAN  
So this mother of yours, is she, as its called in the states, a milf?

INT. QUENDRICKS LIVING ROOM- NIGHT

Troy and Abed are talking.

NARRATOR(V.O.)  
and Abed makes a crucial discovery.

ABED  
(pointing to Maeby)  
She's the one you kissed?

TROY  
Yeah.

ABED  
She's 15.

TROY  
(increasingly panicing)  
Oh, oh. Ohhh.  
FADE OUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof read this so try play the game of try to find the authors typos (theres a lot of them)


End file.
